There is a barb in the question- so fast on the heels of unmooring the station. It had been, as it always was, a reminder of his weakness. A weakness that would be completely acceptable, if it came at a cost only to him. But it didn't.
Still, he has bent enough for one day. To ask more of him was to break the core. He breaths, settles his irritation.]
I am satisfied enough. It is the balance I have chosen.
Anything that is worth the doing is painful, in some way.
[Yes, of course, but the uncertainty would have driven him to madness. Even now, adjusting just to a slight change of course- were he not so relieved in this moment he would be consumed with his anxieties.]
For now, it is what is required of me to do what needs to be done.
[That may change. He would forever be coming to terms with impermanence.]
[ Her lean is a little bit more intent for a moment, more questions, dagger bright sparkling on the very tip of her tongue. He doesn't need to patronize her, telling her about pain, that isn't really what she was asking but-- She stops herself. Sits back, composed and smiles. Rises, knows when it is time for her to go. ]
[She may think he is lecturing, but he is not speaking to her. He doesn't think to. He is distracted from his responsibilities, for the time being, and if he cared to see that bright flash moment in her mind it would only serve to exasperate him.
But he doesn't look, because he never does, and he is, for now, absorbed in other things. It is probably for the best.
He shifts against the edge of the desk, moves to stand on his own feet again as she does, some convention that was required. The question should not surprise him. It made, in fact, perfect sense.]
Yes, of course. Cathaway said that she would enlist your help.
[There was a time he would have said that she would need it- but she was not quite so helpless in such things as she had been, and he had little room to judge himself. the cullinary arts had not been a part of his education.]
I look forward to it.
[In part. It would likely be some kind of a disaster, but until that happened, he would reamain as optomistic as possible.]
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no subject
There is a barb in the question- so fast on the heels of unmooring the station. It had been, as it always was, a reminder of his weakness. A weakness that would be completely acceptable, if it came at a cost only to him. But it didn't.
Still, he has bent enough for one day. To ask more of him was to break the core. He breaths, settles his irritation.]
I am satisfied enough. It is the balance I have chosen.
no subject
Was it painful, to choose?
[ Is it still? ]
no subject
[Yes, of course, but the uncertainty would have driven him to madness. Even now, adjusting just to a slight change of course- were he not so relieved in this moment he would be consumed with his anxieties.]
For now, it is what is required of me to do what needs to be done.
[That may change. He would forever be coming to terms with impermanence.]
no subject
Will you be attending the dinner?
no subject
But he doesn't look, because he never does, and he is, for now, absorbed in other things. It is probably for the best.
He shifts against the edge of the desk, moves to stand on his own feet again as she does, some convention that was required. The question should not surprise him. It made, in fact, perfect sense.]
Yes, of course. Cathaway said that she would enlist your help.
[There was a time he would have said that she would need it- but she was not quite so helpless in such things as she had been, and he had little room to judge himself. the cullinary arts had not been a part of his education.]
I look forward to it.
[In part. It would likely be some kind of a disaster, but until that happened, he would reamain as optomistic as possible.]