[ a more fully expanded universe. well, yes. but how would that exist? wouldn't he have known? but then again, when he'd actually been connected, when the thing came for him, he hadn't seen it. of all the knowledge he had, or all the time he watched stream past him like rushing water, there was nothing of it. the thing that started all of this.
and maybe that's why. it leaves him feeling a bit too alone, a bit to abandoned, thinking that the force that looked after life where he'd come from may be completely beyond what he can reach here. but it is what it is. it's not as if, when he'd been just a simple human, running around a nuclear fallout of a planet, that he'd truly believed in anything greater.
it's just back to square one. ]
How-- [ but all the hows are terribly important, not as important as what it all means. and there's too many to start asking now besides. so he drops it, letting Prince just explain. ]
[There are more things in heaven and earth than even you have dreamed.
Unfortunately.]
You wish to have permission to use them? If you were hoping to fly them, I am afraid I must refuse, for the time being. It is not wise to use them between untrained.
[He brow furrows slightly, remembering, suddenly, the rest of his request.]
Unless you were not intending to fly?
[The confusion is, this time, in the sound of his voice, tempered by an edge of suspicion. He has had a long day, and while Sam has been, at worst, slightly odd and a little loud, and has seemed otherwise well-balanced, perhaps enough to temper his troublesome brood, Prince has learned his lesson about underestimating this group's ability to do damage.]
Fly was the eventual goal, right. I figured we needed training or something for it, though.
[ Anakin had said 'gain access', so either there was training or some other level of seniority needed to be allowed to use them. or maybe some level of trust from the guardians here. especially considering he just talked about taking one of the planes and flying back to his planet.
which he won't do, but if it were him, or Lee, or Adama, they probably would be wary about putting That Guy in a cockpit right after the fact.
but the second part of what he'd asked when he'd come in here had much less to do with his want to get back to piloting, and a lot more to do with something much weirder. ]
For right now, actually, no... not really. [ this is awkward. how do explain this... ] What I was wanting to do, exactly, is, um.
Plug myself into one of the ships? [ is that the best way to say this? What's the easiest way to explain this without having to say "i'm a machine"... ] To train my ability thing. The ship would probably power up, maybe adjust some features here and there, but not try to take off.
For some, yes. For others, you simply will not be able to use them until the bond between you and your symbiote is stronger.
[And the flight of any ship would require a certain amount of trust from him. They had quite an array of them, at this point, but the loss of even one in some reckless action by a foolish Host was to be avoided if at all possible. They were not easy to obtain.
His head tips, just slightly as he attempts to explain. Very little surprised him anymore, when it came to hosts. So he isn't shocked by the suggestion, he is, however, slightly less than eager to agree.]
I see. [He did, but while there were some ships he would easily let him tamper with (a lie, he was never casual with the Stations' resources, but if not easily than readily), he is hesitant. Some of those ships were not the hodge-podge collection, some were of the Nest. Unique, special. And very dear to some people.]
For certain ships, and with supervision to begin with, I would allow this. However you must speak to Cathaway about the Nest vessels.
[They were designed to interact with the minds of the Nest, but not such as that. It seemed almost like a violation, ignoring the open door to break out a window.]
So how do you do that? Strengthen the bond? [ does he need to sit down and... talk to it? does it even talk? meditate? he's all lost with this stuff.
but the answer he's given on the last part is more what's immediately concerning him, now, after this talk they've had. ]
Supervision - you or Cathaway, or just anyone? [ because, while he does like Prince, and has no reason to think ill of him or his intentions, he's not sure how much he trusts him. considering the disappearance of everyone before them. not that he can really trust many, here. but for what he'd like to do the second he gets a chance (plug himself in and try to get answers from... himself), maybe he wants someone who knows less about what the answers mean to him.
It takes only a moment for Sam to realize what the Nest vessels are supposed to be. The ones that look different, the ones that feel different. ]
Those are the ones that hum, aren't they? The Nest vessels? [ like the nest does, constantly, in the back of their minds. and while he's not needing to do anything with them, or feeling the need to ask to, he still has an intense curiosity, that had been with him since he heard it. ] Are they alive?
Use your powers. Delve into the connection between yourself and others. You can also sleep in the Nesting Deck, if you can stomach it. It is like a muscle, you exercise it to see it strengthen. But be cautious. Doing so will have a cost of its own, as all things do.
[Time, as well. You could not stop the progression, even if you never used a single one of the Symbiote's tools. It was a part of you and the physical connection would only strengthen. You changed, whether you wished it or not.]
Not just anyone, certainly. The ships are valuable, and both you and your power are quite new.
[There was wisdom in caution. Prince shifts back slightly, setting his hand down beside him on the bench, as if he would stand.]
Yes. [He takes a breath, gaze slipping away as he considers the question.] It is not as simple as that. They are part of the Nest, but they are not- [He raises his left hand and waves away whatever he was going to say] It is not simple. You will understand in time.
[She would be able to explain it better than him. They weren't alive, but they were hardly the same as the dead metal that most of the ships in the hanger were.]
For now, you should rest. Much has happened today. Things will be the same tomorrow.
[ that's important. he doubts there's anything he wouldn't pay to see the new Earth prosper, especially considering, once he dies, even in another universe or something in between, he's still fairly sure he'll find kara. whatever divine hand was in place in his universe, there's something very similar in kylo ren's. there's still something here that will allow him to access the hybrid state of mind. there has to be a reason for that.
he's not sure he'd be able to handle it with sanity if there wasn't. not now. so he'll push that from his mind for the moment. think about it later. ]
Would someone from my brood work? To unplug me if something starts going wrong? [ wait, adding on - ] Not Kylo Ren.
[ and hope it doesn't fry his brain? maybe. who knows. it's either that or he goes digging for some other piece of technology with wires and hopes it works as well as a ship. Prince is right about the one thing - he is still very new to this. and as such, doesn't think he'll understand whatever the Nest ships are either way. This isn't the Cylon, it's something else, and they aren't as simple as Raiders or Centurions. That, he does know. He's not so impatient about getting those answers yet as he is some others.
speaking of while, going to rest now. hahahahaha, if he can. maybe he'll try. lay down for a while. likely won't sleep. will definitely end up calling Ilde over to do something maybe not that wise. ]
Right. Yeah, sure. I'll... go see Cathaway about it tomorrow.
You will lose yourself. Everything that you are. It won't be gone, but it will become one small part of something much greater.
[The things you care about will begin to seem insignificant. Your mind and your consciousness so connected that your body and even your mind become an afterthought. A temporary vessel you only inhabit at times.
And you never truly die.
The question makes his brow furrow, deep lines. It is suspicious, to insist on it being someone else when he had just claimed to wish to test his ability. To turn on the ships, to adjust some settings. It is easy to suspect there is some other reason, even for Prince, who did not have an innate understanding of a Host's specific skill unless he searched for it.
The assurance- not Kylo Ren does little to soothe him. There was more trouble than him with his brood.]
No, I'm sorry. The ships are dangerous and valuable, and until I understand how well you control yourself I would prefer if you didn't try anything without proper supervision.
[Someday Steve may qualify, but at the moment even he could not to be entirely relied upon.]
Very well. [He pushes himself to his feet, then, subtly more comfortable that way.]
And that's happened to you? [ how long has prince been here? how much did he use his bond before it started to go? he speaks so monotone and blank, and Sam's getting, now, why that is. There's a fear in his eyes again, because he can't lose Kara, and he can't lose Earth. Everything else... Maybe everything else is negotiable. If this is what he has to do. ] How long does it take?
[ The ships are hardly important now, again. He can wait (or he can find a droid or something else with wires to plug into, which is what he'll do later, after he starts panicking again at ass o'clock at night). ]
Fair enough. [ That's fine, he'll just train with Cathaway or Prince another time.
As Prince stands to go, Sam's standing with him, heading towards the door in a bit of a daze, trying to work this out in his head, figure out how to get around it, or extend it, for as long as he needs. As long as he... gets out before it completely takes over. As long as he dies before he forgets. He whips around just before getting to the doors, to face Prince. ]
Just about that losing yourself part. Please. [ He's never pleaded so much with one person, aside from when he'd begged Kara not to send him into surgery. ] There's two things I have to remember, I have to know how important they are. How do I hold on to them?
[There's a long moment of stubborn silence. No, of course not- except that there was little point in being anything but honest. He sighs through his nose, a certain heavy acceptance. If he knew why Sam believed that of him- he would laugh, maybe, if he was prone to laughing. If he spoke to Cathaway, he'd know his tone of voice had nothing to do with losing himself, and everything to do with keeping it.]
It is happening. And that depends entirely upon you. I have weighed the cost myself and have decided how much I am willing to lose. In exchange I am not as strong as I could be. Others are willing to give more to gain more.
[And others found the comfort it offered to be worth it. And it was a comfort. It was a belonging that you could not explain. An understanding. Resisting it took strength- a certain stubborn streak. And it took denying yourself something you wanted- something you could have- he had been accused of being masochistic, by some.
He follows him to the door, not too close to his heels. He did not enjoy walking into new Hosts- the feedback from unintentionally touching them was somewhat disconcerting. And he'd already been in this man's head enough for one day.]
You hold onto yourself. You do what you can to limit the amount you use your powers, how much time you spend in the minds of others, how open you are.
[Humans did not live so long- even with the symbiote helping them. Most would die before they fully submerged in the Nest, if they were cautious.
[ Prince has Sam's rapt attention, nodding now and again when he speaks, absorbing what he's being told and committing it to memory.
Decide what you're willing to lose. Hold on to yourself. Limit use of abilities (he'll have to turn it into something that's only used when absolutely necessary). Be less open with the others. The last, comes with a tinge of sorrow, given how soothing he finds it to be so connected with others, but it is what it is. He'd rather go back to being only within himself that lose Kara, or Earth.
But for the moment, that satisfies. He has a lot to think about, and a plan to develop. ]
Thank you, Prince. This has helped, a lot. [ He does mean it, sincerely. ] I appreciate it.
[ and that is true. he isn't human, and even if his people do age, it must have been at a slowed rate, given the time they'd spent traveling, and with the Colonial Cylons, creating the eight models, before John boxed them.
With any hope, he won't need to survive that long. But he can't leave until this thing is dealt with. With that in mind, he bids Prince a good night, and heads back to his room. ]
[Prince dips his head in a short bow, a well-practiced motion.]
It is only my duty. Should you need anything else, I will be available to you.
[It had been a useful conversation, if somewhat perplexing. Sam seemed as if he could be a stabilizing element in a brood that had much need of it. But he also seemed somewhat- directed, not necessarily in a direction that was entirely conducive to his new situation. And he seemed like the kind that would allow himself to be enveloped, eventually. Something which Prince did not personally relish, but which had its benefits.
An inconclusive meeting, in short. And too much to think about at the tail end of a long day.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
and maybe that's why. it leaves him feeling a bit too alone, a bit to abandoned, thinking that the force that looked after life where he'd come from may be completely beyond what he can reach here. but it is what it is. it's not as if, when he'd been just a simple human, running around a nuclear fallout of a planet, that he'd truly believed in anything greater.
it's just back to square one. ]
How-- [ but all the hows are terribly important, not as important as what it all means. and there's too many to start asking now besides. so he drops it, letting Prince just explain. ]
The ships, right. What about them?
no subject
Unfortunately.]
You wish to have permission to use them? If you were hoping to fly them, I am afraid I must refuse, for the time being. It is not wise to use them between untrained.
[He brow furrows slightly, remembering, suddenly, the rest of his request.]
Unless you were not intending to fly?
[The confusion is, this time, in the sound of his voice, tempered by an edge of suspicion. He has had a long day, and while Sam has been, at worst, slightly odd and a little loud, and has seemed otherwise well-balanced, perhaps enough to temper his troublesome brood, Prince has learned his lesson about underestimating this group's ability to do damage.]
no subject
[ Anakin had said 'gain access', so either there was training or some other level of seniority needed to be allowed to use them. or maybe some level of trust from the guardians here. especially considering he just talked about taking one of the planes and flying back to his planet.
which he won't do, but if it were him, or Lee, or Adama, they probably would be wary about putting That Guy in a cockpit right after the fact.
but the second part of what he'd asked when he'd come in here had much less to do with his want to get back to piloting, and a lot more to do with something much weirder. ]
For right now, actually, no... not really. [ this is awkward. how do explain this... ] What I was wanting to do, exactly, is, um.
Plug myself into one of the ships? [ is that the best way to say this? What's the easiest way to explain this without having to say "i'm a machine"... ] To train my ability thing. The ship would probably power up, maybe adjust some features here and there, but not try to take off.
no subject
[And the flight of any ship would require a certain amount of trust from him. They had quite an array of them, at this point, but the loss of even one in some reckless action by a foolish Host was to be avoided if at all possible. They were not easy to obtain.
His head tips, just slightly as he attempts to explain. Very little surprised him anymore, when it came to hosts. So he isn't shocked by the suggestion, he is, however, slightly less than eager to agree.]
I see. [He did, but while there were some ships he would easily let him tamper with (a lie, he was never casual with the Stations' resources, but if not easily than readily), he is hesitant. Some of those ships were not the hodge-podge collection, some were of the Nest. Unique, special. And very dear to some people.]
For certain ships, and with supervision to begin with, I would allow this. However you must speak to Cathaway about the Nest vessels.
[They were designed to interact with the minds of the Nest, but not such as that. It seemed almost like a violation, ignoring the open door to break out a window.]
Is that satisfactory?
no subject
but the answer he's given on the last part is more what's immediately concerning him, now, after this talk they've had. ]
Supervision - you or Cathaway, or just anyone? [ because, while he does like Prince, and has no reason to think ill of him or his intentions, he's not sure how much he trusts him. considering the disappearance of everyone before them. not that he can really trust many, here. but for what he'd like to do the second he gets a chance (plug himself in and try to get answers from... himself), maybe he wants someone who knows less about what the answers mean to him.
It takes only a moment for Sam to realize what the Nest vessels are supposed to be. The ones that look different, the ones that feel different. ]
Those are the ones that hum, aren't they? The Nest vessels? [ like the nest does, constantly, in the back of their minds. and while he's not needing to do anything with them, or feeling the need to ask to, he still has an intense curiosity, that had been with him since he heard it. ] Are they alive?
no subject
[Time, as well. You could not stop the progression, even if you never used a single one of the Symbiote's tools. It was a part of you and the physical connection would only strengthen. You changed, whether you wished it or not.]
Not just anyone, certainly. The ships are valuable, and both you and your power are quite new.
[There was wisdom in caution. Prince shifts back slightly, setting his hand down beside him on the bench, as if he would stand.]
Yes. [He takes a breath, gaze slipping away as he considers the question.] It is not as simple as that. They are part of the Nest, but they are not- [He raises his left hand and waves away whatever he was going to say] It is not simple. You will understand in time.
[She would be able to explain it better than him. They weren't alive, but they were hardly the same as the dead metal that most of the ships in the hanger were.]
For now, you should rest. Much has happened today. Things will be the same tomorrow.
no subject
[ that's important. he doubts there's anything he wouldn't pay to see the new Earth prosper, especially considering, once he dies, even in another universe or something in between, he's still fairly sure he'll find kara. whatever divine hand was in place in his universe, there's something very similar in kylo ren's. there's still something here that will allow him to access the hybrid state of mind. there has to be a reason for that.
he's not sure he'd be able to handle it with sanity if there wasn't. not now. so he'll push that from his mind for the moment. think about it later. ]
Would someone from my brood work? To unplug me if something starts going wrong? [ wait, adding on - ] Not Kylo Ren.
[ and hope it doesn't fry his brain? maybe. who knows. it's either that or he goes digging for some other piece of technology with wires and hopes it works as well as a ship. Prince is right about the one thing - he is still very new to this. and as such, doesn't think he'll understand whatever the Nest ships are either way. This isn't the Cylon, it's something else, and they aren't as simple as Raiders or Centurions. That, he does know. He's not so impatient about getting those answers yet as he is some others.
speaking of while, going to rest now. hahahahaha, if he can. maybe he'll try. lay down for a while. likely won't sleep.
will definitely end up calling Ilde over to do something maybe not that wise. ]Right. Yeah, sure. I'll... go see Cathaway about it tomorrow.
no subject
[The things you care about will begin to seem insignificant. Your mind and your consciousness so connected that your body and even your mind become an afterthought. A temporary vessel you only inhabit at times.
And you never truly die.
The question makes his brow furrow, deep lines. It is suspicious, to insist on it being someone else when he had just claimed to wish to test his ability. To turn on the ships, to adjust some settings. It is easy to suspect there is some other reason, even for Prince, who did not have an innate understanding of a Host's specific skill unless he searched for it.
The assurance- not Kylo Ren does little to soothe him. There was more trouble than him with his brood.]
No, I'm sorry. The ships are dangerous and valuable, and until I understand how well you control yourself I would prefer if you didn't try anything without proper supervision.
[Someday Steve may qualify, but at the moment even he could not to be entirely relied upon.]
Very well. [He pushes himself to his feet, then, subtly more comfortable that way.]
If you have no further questions?
no subject
[ The ships are hardly important now, again. He can wait (or he can find a droid or something else with wires to plug into, which is what he'll do later, after he starts panicking again at ass o'clock at night). ]
Fair enough. [ That's fine, he'll just train with Cathaway or Prince another time.
As Prince stands to go, Sam's standing with him, heading towards the door in a bit of a daze, trying to work this out in his head, figure out how to get around it, or extend it, for as long as he needs. As long as he... gets out before it completely takes over. As long as he dies before he forgets. He whips around just before getting to the doors, to face Prince. ]
Just about that losing yourself part. Please. [ He's never pleaded so much with one person, aside from when he'd begged Kara not to send him into surgery. ] There's two things I have to remember, I have to know how important they are. How do I hold on to them?
no subject
It is happening. And that depends entirely upon you. I have weighed the cost myself and have decided how much I am willing to lose. In exchange I am not as strong as I could be. Others are willing to give more to gain more.
[And others found the comfort it offered to be worth it. And it was a comfort. It was a belonging that you could not explain. An understanding. Resisting it took strength- a certain stubborn streak. And it took denying yourself something you wanted- something you could have- he had been accused of being masochistic, by some.
He follows him to the door, not too close to his heels. He did not enjoy walking into new Hosts- the feedback from unintentionally touching them was somewhat disconcerting. And he'd already been in this man's head enough for one day.]
You hold onto yourself. You do what you can to limit the amount you use your powers, how much time you spend in the minds of others, how open you are.
[Humans did not live so long- even with the symbiote helping them. Most would die before they fully submerged in the Nest, if they were cautious.
Then again, he wasn't human.]
no subject
Decide what you're willing to lose. Hold on to yourself. Limit use of abilities (he'll have to turn it into something that's only used when absolutely necessary). Be less open with the others. The last, comes with a tinge of sorrow, given how soothing he finds it to be so connected with others, but it is what it is. He'd rather go back to being only within himself that lose Kara, or Earth.
But for the moment, that satisfies. He has a lot to think about, and a plan to develop. ]
Thank you, Prince. This has helped, a lot. [ He does mean it, sincerely. ] I appreciate it.
[ and that is true. he isn't human, and even if his people do age, it must have been at a slowed rate, given the time they'd spent traveling, and with the Colonial Cylons, creating the eight models, before John boxed them.
With any hope, he won't need to survive that long. But he can't leave until this thing is dealt with. With that in mind, he bids Prince a good night, and heads back to his room. ]
no subject
It is only my duty. Should you need anything else, I will be available to you.
[It had been a useful conversation, if somewhat perplexing. Sam seemed as if he could be a stabilizing element in a brood that had much need of it. But he also seemed somewhat- directed, not necessarily in a direction that was entirely conducive to his new situation. And he seemed like the kind that would allow himself to be enveloped, eventually. Something which Prince did not personally relish, but which had its benefits.
An inconclusive meeting, in short. And too much to think about at the tail end of a long day.]